Over the past 2 years I have felt that way more than once. To be completely honest, I never really planned my life past graduating university until it happened and I was forced to. Up until then everyone talked about getting into school, picking a career, getting married, and having babies. Which is exactly what a majority of my close friends did. My mom did it when she was my age. My little sister did. So naturally, I just figured that was the way my life would go.
Well, graduation came and went, and I was neither married, nor did I have any babies. So I guess it was time to get a job. But remember how there were none?! In the midst of my crisis, I started applying for jobs in Southern Alberta. Nothing had been working out in Edmonton, and I figured I at least had connections down south and maybe that would help me get a job. And what do you know, within days I had a job at the Cardston Hospital. So I packed my bags, moved home, and promptly went on a roadtrip to Utah, where I found this plaque at some random craft store:
That phrase has stuck with me for the past couple of years, and it was exactly what I needed to hear. It was the truth, and it brought me so much peace just to realize that Southern Alberta was where I was supposed to be at that point in time.
Well, long story short, my work didn't stop in Cardston. It was only a matter of months before I would get restless making the drive every day, and the job hopping began again:
April 2010 - Cardston Hospital
June 2010 - October 2010 - Grandview Nursing Home - Cardston, Alberta (they asked me to and it was full time 12 hour days, which meant no night shifts and a 6 day stretch off every month!)
October 2010 - April 2011 - General Medicine - Lethbridge Regional Hospital (I moved into Lethbridge and couldn't bear the thought of driving 2 hours every day to work, plus by this time I was starting to feel like I needed a more challenging job that helped me develop and maintain my skills)
April 2011 - December 2011 - Family Medical Center (a job opportunity that came up in management, which gave me evenings, nights, and weekends off...not to mention the capability to pick my own hours, which fit nicely with my plans to spend as much time in Waterton as possible for the summer)
Who is this girl?! She's been graduated 2 years and had 4 different jobs? How people even thought it was a good idea to hire someone who hadn't stayed in a job for more than 6 months I'll never know, but somehow I kept getting jobs!
Sure enough, come November I started getting restless again. Sure, working as the manager of a clinic and choosing my own hours sounded great, but the reality of it was, I hated it. I had NO IDEA how to be a manager. I loved patient care. I loved being busy. I loved getting to work with a whole bunch of tasks to accomplish and being run off my feet for 8 hours to get it all done. I loved solving problems. REAL problems. At the clinic I worked with a number of amazing people, but I had ZERO job satisfaction. The girl I took over for had already gone on maternity leave by the time I got there, and my attempts at figuring out staffing, doctors meetings, staff meetings, program planning, and building maintenance seemed less than fruitful. I was supposed to be at the clinic until the coming April, but I could hardly stand the thought of it.
It wasn't just the clinic either. My life in Lethbridge had become seemingly directionless. I was in a job I didn't love, I wasn't that motivated to get out and socialize, and I'll be honest, my enthusiasm for getting involved in my ward was lacking. Holy, who's the depressing girl?! Now, take note, I do not blame anyone for my circumstances. I chose the job I did. I chose to live where I did. I chose not to be overly social on the weekends. I chose it all. But something had to give.
So I came up with a few options, and in November I accepted a job in the Intensive Care Unit at the Royal Alexandra Hospital in Edmonton. Permanent full time. They would pay for me to take the Critical Care Course in January and upon successful completion, I could start working. The move to Edmonton was exactly what I needed. I mean, I've come to realize that a job is still just a job, but it definitely helps when you feel like you are making a difference to someone, and when you enjoy what you're doing.
It's a funny stage, this stage of life. Especially growing up in the church, I feel like 25 is not an age where girls are expected to have a full time career and just go off gallavanting whenever they feel like it. I'm sure there are people who look at me and think, "Why isn't she married? She should have a couple of kids by now! What's wrong with her?" I know they do because at one point in time, I was guilty of thinking the same thing about the "older girls" in YSA. I don't know the answers to those questions, but the reality of it is, if I could relive every decision I've made so far in my life, I would choose the same thing I did the first time around. I don't worry about never getting married, because I'm quite confident that at some point in my life that stage will come. I have no regrets so far, and really couldn't be happier with the direction that my life has taken over the years. I've had some pretty invaluable experiences that I wouldn't trade for the world, and made some incredible friends that I will never forget. I don't know what the future holds, but for now I'm enjoying the ride!
